Apparently I’ve gone several months without actually ever mentioning my roommate in any posts here, so in order to satiate your curiosity here’s the 30 second crash-course introduction to my roommate.

1. Her name is Christina.
2. She cooks all kinds of delicious food including (but not limited to) chicken cutlets, spare ribs, pork chops, and brownies.
3. She’s an aerospace engineer and also went to RIT.
4. She’s only tried to kill me once (that I know of).
5. She’s got a pet turtle that eats its body weight in green stuff every day, then craps like you wouldn’t believe.
6. She somehow conned me into carrying our 7ft christmas tree four blocks back to our apartment.. by myself.
7. She shed hair all over my old bathtub and clogged the drain, resulting in the landlord having to call a plumber.
8. She won’t let me watch the Lost DVDs without her and only allocates about half an hour per week for watching Lost. Result: I’m seeing the DVDs at a slower pace than regular TV.
9. She bribes me with food if I go to church with her.
10. I taught her how to drive a stick with only minimal damage to my car’s transmission. I also got a nice case of whiplash to commemorate the event.
11. She’s terrified of spiders.
12. She thinks “real” pizza should stand straight out like cardboard when you hold it. She was not impressed when I accomplished this by leaving the pizza out on the kitchen table all night.
13. She makes us keep the place clean, much to my chagrin.
14. She’s not afraid to tell me when I’m being retarded, although she does it with alarming frequency.
15. Despite all the grief I give her about it, living with her has turned me into a better person.